Roman White
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« on: February 24, 2009, 09:17:47 pm » |
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(OK, other jokes and fun things are allowed too) *** This question has bothered me recently: - What do abbreviations "AM" and "PM" mean ...for astronomers? - "After midnight", "Pre-midnight"
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« Last Edit: August 06, 2010, 09:40:22 pm by Roman White »
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martinastro
Martin Mc Kenna
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Maghera, N. Ireland
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« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2009, 09:21:22 pm » |
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LOL, good idea Roman. There's room for plenty of light hearted topics on this forum. It's good to have a laugh and relax and not get annoyed at the clouds too much. . If anyone has any astro jokes they would like to share then feel free to post....
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Roman White
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« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2009, 10:13:32 pm » |
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I don't remember where I have found it...
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SkyWatcher 130/900mm EQ3, Bresser 76/700mm, 20x90 bino. and other, Olympus SP-550UZ Eclipse & comet chaser, occultation & meteor observer Poltava Astronomy Portal
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Paul
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« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2009, 10:22:12 pm » |
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Hmmm,
I heard that Richard Branson opened the first nightclub on the Moon, but it closed down after a short while - apparently it lacked atmosphere!
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brianb
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« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2009, 10:30:02 pm » |
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Rumour has it John McEnroe (the bad tempered tennis player) was heard shouting at a bright star, "You cannot be Sirius"
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Roman White
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« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2009, 11:25:26 pm » |
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And now...
You are a true DeepSky observer if... you spent most of your time trying to see objects which are barely visible to you you think that 17m stars are "irritationally bright" you can precisely guide an object with your Dobsonian at 700x magnification ...with one finger of your hand you think that a telescope is a member of a family Moon is horrible punishment for you Jupiter is a gentle source of light pollution Meteors are a gentle source of light pollution Milky Way is a gentle source of light pollution you place dry ice onto your head to reduce the "noise" of your retina and optical nerve you consider Hydrogen nebulae of distant galaxies as independent objects you like observing faint nebulae with the smallest possible aperture you like observing faint nebulae with the biggest possible aperture your observing programme includes observing faint objects in twillight you wonder, why do your favourite objects aren't included into Messier, NGC, IC catalogues you have doubt on presence of something interesting inside Solar system you're amazed that some amateur asstronomers need additional light sources to read sky charts in the darkness you can find all objects of Messier and Hershel using only your memory you think that M13 can ruin your dark adaption you are very glad when power blackouts occure on moonless nights you observe M42 as a last object during your observing session because it ruins your dark adaption Arp - is not a 'funny word', it is a name of one of your favourite galaxy catalogues you hate aurorae because they spoil the sky contrast and ruin your dark adaption you remember all NGC objects and you can immediately tell object's type and magnitude if you were asked e.g. "What is NGC1000" your best place for vacation would be Namibia, but... your ideal scope must be moveless you use eyedrops which widen your eye pupil to 10mm you severely swear when NELM is below 6.5m you travel to Australia to read your sky charts under the light of Milky Way you massage your eyes 3 hours in absolute darkness before starting your observing session you observe faint nebulae during total lunar eclipse you USE 'Uranometria' atlas, and you can tell the page number for each object you think that telescope guides are absolutely unnecessary you can find objects with naked eye better than with 80mm guide you seriously think about creation of a 'comitee of fighting artifical satellites' you can drive to rural area every night, each time carrying 100kg of your equipment across the field you wear sun glasses all day long even if it is overcast you think that a hood which XIV century monks wore - is a nice idea city light is a main problem of your life you use infrared flashlight you continue thinking that only complete absence of stars in our galaxy would make you happy with a dark sky appearance you take a pail of coffee with you when going to observe at night you did an operation, changed your eye's lens f/0.8 by an apochromatic triplet you think about how to break all street lights in the neighbourhood you can't see faint objects because the Zodiacal light is too bright you can speak, holding a red flashlight in your mouth you can understand a man who speaks to you, holding a red flashlight in his mouth you have a "DeepSky" tatoo your children's name are "Ring", "Medusa", NGC1234 you bought a small 20" Ritchey-Cretien to your wife you hang photos of Messier objects on the walls of your room to observe something on cloudy days you think that first 7 letters of the alphabet are "OBAFGKM" you dream about a travel to Antarctic in summer looking at the dirt spot on your clothes, you try to find a central star, define separate stars and see a spiral structure of that spot you can observe 18mag galaxies near your house in 10x50 binoculars you associate a word "Sex" with a galaxy cluster in Sextans best time for your observations is when the Milky Way is low above the horizon you think that 8" scope will be a good guide for your Dobsonian you can drive 130km away from the city, searching for a dark sky, and stay there under rain all night long, in hope that the sky will clear you tell to newbie astronomers that observing faint comets and asteroids is much more interesting than observing bright planets and Moon your collection of astrophotos has bigger weight than yourself your archive of CCD photos' compact disks has bigger weight than yourself you can point the location of different nebulae in daytime you dream to buy your neighbours' houses with only one goal - to burn them you think that astronomy clubs must be free of tax as well as churches you stopeed smoking not because you wished to have better health, but because it ruined your ability to see faint objects you dreamed to live in Australia to see new nebulae you can see planetary nebulae in other galaxies ...without O-III filter you remember magnification and FOV of each of your eyepieces in each of your telescopes, that have been ever bought or self-made you divorce with your wife because she distracts you at night you bought Palomar sky survey because it is good to use along with your guide you use 16" telescope ...as guide you are too busy at night to have children you can visually define red shift of quasars you tried to see galaxies... through spiral arms of another galaxies you make filters by yourself you make eyepieces by yourself you live in a desrt, but only at night you don't use CCD camera because the PC monitor ruins your dark adaption and BTW the objects are better visible visually you can find at least 10 non-NGC objects just turning your scope into right direction your eye pupil is always wider than 7mm you painted yourself into black to reduce light pollution you painted into black everything in 100km around to reduce light pollution a mirror that reflects 95% of light has bad quality you use dark filters when observing objects brighter than 15mag you have forgot how does the world look in the daytime you have forgot how does the world look at night without a telescope you know periods of extragalactic variable stars of Cepheid type ...by your own experience you discovered several comets but you are too busy too report about it you have reported about several comet discoveries, but they are too faint for anybody else to see them you go to sleep if NELM is below 7.0m you tell that you observed Stephan's Quintet without an optical aid you think that Pluto is too bright to observe with 4" scope you have so big myopia or strabismus that you need no eyepieces any more you have coated your eyes the way they become anti-reflective
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« Last Edit: February 27, 2009, 08:33:34 pm by Roman White »
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Roman White
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« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2009, 01:56:57 pm » |
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maybe this isn't much about astronomy... So, the question: Is this statement true or false?
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martinastro
Martin Mc Kenna
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« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2009, 01:46:47 pm » |
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I don't understand it at all Roman
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brianb
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« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2009, 02:01:26 pm » |
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I don't understand it at all Roman Quite straightforward - you get a warning if you've been online for more than 24 hours in a 24 hour period....
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Paul
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« Reply #9 on: March 07, 2009, 02:02:26 pm » |
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I think Roman is wondering how it would be possible for the dial-up connection to be up for longer than 24 hours in one day Martin
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martinastro
Martin Mc Kenna
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Posts: 5182
Maghera, N. Ireland
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« Reply #10 on: March 07, 2009, 02:11:36 pm » |
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Ah yes, I understand now. Lost me there for a while
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Roman White
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« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2009, 08:17:37 pm » |
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Quite straightforward - you get a warning if you've been online for more than 24 hours in a 24 hour period....
You're right, but nobody answered the question: Is this statement true or false?
(possible?)
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SkyWatcher 130/900mm EQ3, Bresser 76/700mm, 20x90 bino. and other, Olympus SP-550UZ Eclipse & comet chaser, occultation & meteor observer Poltava Astronomy Portal
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brianb
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« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2009, 09:16:03 pm » |
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Is this statement true or false? (possible?) Wink
Well you can get a 24 hour plus one second day (leap second) or a 25 hour day (daylight saving time ends during it).
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Roman White
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« Reply #13 on: March 07, 2009, 09:55:41 pm » |
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I hadn't received any alert on Dec.31, 2008 a 25 hour day (daylight saving time ends during it).
That's right! (if only I use DST) So there is no exact answer...
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SkyWatcher 130/900mm EQ3, Bresser 76/700mm, 20x90 bino. and other, Olympus SP-550UZ Eclipse & comet chaser, occultation & meteor observer Poltava Astronomy Portal
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